The Upside of Irritation
I received an e-mail from a friend that felt slighted because they saw me chatting on the social network twitter, yet in an e-mail I said that I was extremely busy.
At first, I was very irritated that this person would jump to a conclusion such as they did. And then, I opened another e-mail from DailyOm, which follows.
The Upside of Irritation
Things That Annoy Us
There are many stories of spiritual masters embracing the presence of an annoying student in their community. There is even one story that documents a teacher paying an irritating person to live among his students. From an everyday perspective, this is difficult to comprehend. We generally work hard to avoid people and things that we find annoying so they don’t bother us.
From a deeper spiritual perspective, however, irritation can be an important teacher and indicator that we are making progress on our path. Being able to remain centered and awake even when we feel uncomfortable is much more impressive than doing so in an environment where everything is to our liking. No matter how good we are at controlling our circumstances, there will always be factors and people that we cannot control. How we respond to these experiences to a great degree determines the quality of our lives. The goal of spiritual development is not to learn to control our environment—which is more of an ego-driven desire. And while having some measure of control over our external reality is important, it is when we are confronted with a person or situation that irritates us and we can choose not to react that we know have made progress spiritually. It is when we have mastered our internal reality that we will have become the masters of our lives.
The more we try to eliminate annoyances, instead of learning to handle them gracefully, the further we get from developing the qualities that come with spiritual growth, such as patience, tolerance, and acceptance. It is often in the presence of people and experiences we find annoying that we have an opportunity to develop these qualities. Fortunately for most of us, our lives offer an abundance of opportunities to practice and cultivate these traits.
(Source: http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2009/16909.html)
After reading this, I was no longer irritated and looked to see what this friends e-mail is trying to show me about my own spiritual growth.
I am indeed very busy at work. And I’ve taken a lot of time out to talk to my daughter when she calls, to call my sister and do a check on how she’s doing, and yesterday I even took time to return a phone call to my best friend because I knew he wanted to hear from me.
All of that and working on finishing a clients website, fixing some glitches in my computer, arranging new business with my twitter friends, chatting with perspective clients and students on my company’s live Google Chat, and keeping up with my commitments to other social networking folks. And that’s only the beginning.
When this year started, I made the commitment to myself that I would be taking my business to the next level. This I do for me, and only me.
What has been a wonderful blessing is that I’ve met hundreds of like minded people along the way that are supportive to me in my goals. The beauty of the social networking I’ve discovered, is full of awesome people who truly want to connect and help each other.
Did this friends e-mail support that belief for me? No. But it was only one e-mail. I have many more e-mails that support the belief I stated in the paragraph above.
Irritating yes. A belief check for me? Yes.
I can’t be everything to every one – especially to people who do not believe what I say, jump to conclusions about what I’m doing, and lack the self-esteem to trust that I’m their friend and not ignoring them. That’s not where I am in my growth.
So, this was a wonderful example of the Universe working with me in my growth. While I might have felt guilty reading this persons e-mail before, or gone off on some kind of negative tangent with myself, the DailyOm was waiting for me to point out the significance of what just happened. (I just love synchronicity, don’t you?)
I am grateful to the friend (yes, I still think of him as a friend, even if he doesn’t believe it) for sending me that e-mail and allowing me to see the beautiful, blessed synchronicity in the events. I am also grateful because he’s given me the reminder to see how blessed I am with so many wonderful, supportive friends I do have on all the social networking sites I belong too.
So this is for you all my Twitter Tweeple, Facebook Friends, MySpace Buddies, Digg Pals, and the folks at The Million Mind March community. Thank you! Thank you for being the wonderful, beautiful people that you are! And thank you for the honor of your friendship!
You have blessed my life in ways you will never know!
