If you’ve been directed here from my Technical Tidbits blog, then you’ve already seen the partial rant that put me over the edge. If you haven’t seen the video that I’ll reference here, then you need to stop by that blog page here and see the video: http://mice.org/blog/open-letter-to-obama-campaign/

After spending several hours on the phone with my big brother, Mike, (Thanks Big Brother!) I finally calmed down that day. And it was in talking with him that he pointed out why I reacted the way I did to the video that was obviously meant as a joke, a funny, a ‘ha ha,’ or whatever humorous notation you wish to add to it.

As my brother pointed out, I had reached critical mass – overload. The point in a persons life when you just can’t take one more piece of negativity.

The reason I am sharing this with you is because lately, we are barraged daily with nothing but negativity. The economic conditions we find ourselves in, the mudslinging and lies being propagated throughout this current election, the news media pouring on the sensationalism of how awful life is becoming or will become for us. And that’s just online and on the television!

Add to that the stresses you experience daily in your life. The check that never came in the mail. The empty or broken promises made by a friend, spouse, or loved one. The unexpected bill from the hospital that you thought the insurance company paid. The bad report card your child brought home from school. The news that your company may be laying off and the worry that your job may be in jeopardy. A sick parent, friend, or sibbling. The list is literally endless!

The day that this video was sent to me via an e-mail link from Moveon.org, I was at the tipping point with my level of negativity. My son-in-law was just nearing a critical point after his sudden open heart surgery. My housemate was gently suggesting I consider full time employment since I hadn’t made a dime in my online businesses for nearly a month. I lost nearly all of the retirement savings I’d recovered since I lost it all the first time with 9-11. I’d been watching too much CNN and Fox Business News, and was believing that – yes, the sky was falling – right on my head. A friend was reading and relating to me the conspiracy news from a number of online websites that there is a plot from the ultra rich to destroy our economy and make us all slaves, and of course, the news media was telling me this must be very true because our economy is collapsing. And it must be true because suddenly I have no money for groceries let alone paying the mortgage!

I felt like there was a neon sign over my head that flashed “loser” every where I walked. I felt useless,  worthless, and a failure.

Then the video e-mail came in.

In the video, you may have quickly noticed places where my name appeared as such:

debbie mahler = loser

There was a scene of a church sign that stated:

All Gods Children are Welcome

Except Debbie Mahler.

The video was mirroring for me everything I felt about myself and it was the last straw. I lost it. My emotions went into major meltdown.

My brother suggested that I take a few days to just chill and not expose myself to all the negativity, which sounded like a wonderful idea. But I have to open my e-mail because I have to answer my students. I have to logon to my twitter and check my social networking sites because what if I miss an opportunity to make a sale! It’s not possible for me to just totally shut out the world like he suggested.

But I did calm down. And I did sit back and meditate on what the video was mirroring for me.

It was hitting my “nothing and nobody.” And for those who haven’t been around in the metaphysical or spiritual circles long enough yet, your “nothing and nobody” is that part of yourself that keeps you separate from Source, or God. As long as it can make you feel “less than” it can keep you unworthy from experiencing the unconditional love of God. It keeps you separate from others so that you cannot connect with friends or loved ones who can make you feel good with loving thoughts, a hug, a kind word.

And as I was watching the video, seeing visually everything that I felt about myself, my “nothing and nobody” was repeating to me, “See! I told you! Even Obama knows you are worthless! You can’t hide from anyone, they all know you’re a loser!”

Now, I know logically that this is not true. I know that I have my faults; my imperfections that makes me human, but I’m not a total loser. I have a list of positive things I’ve done right! 

But I attracted that type of experience in my life, right then, right there, because I was getting pulled down with negative thoughts. The video and the emotional meltdown was a wake up call for me to get in touch with what I was thinking and what I was feeling in recent days.

And I share this with you today so that you will take a step back from your daily life – even if it’s just for the drive to work, or while you’re parking the car at the grocery store – and just turn off the noise. Turn off the radio. Turn off the cell phone. Just sit quietly for five minutes and think about where you’re at with your thoughts and feelings.

Take a few really deep breaths. Remind yourself that everything is okay, exactly the way it is, and there is never a molecule out of place in the universe – ever! Everything is perfect just the way it is – including you!

Tags: emotion, emotional overload, loser, meltdown, negativity, nobody, nothing, too much negativity